Passion or Love?
by Cinn
Summary: Katara reflects on the her feelings at the end of the war.


Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Avatar - The Last Airbender or any related material apart from merchandise. I'm just playing with other peoples toys.

Spoilers: Set at the end of series 4 of Legend of Aang (specifically last scene of Sozin's Comet part 4, Avatar Aang). Hadn't seen Legend of Kora at the time.

Cinn: This is essentially shameless Karara/Zuko because I still believe that a better pairing than Katara/Aang. Though this may be because Aang is twelve in Avatar and its just weird to see. I'm trying to stick to canon.

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After Sokka finally shooed them all away from his painting Katara took a moment to take everything in herself. She still couldn't believe the war was over and they were all still alive. They had all been invited to the Jasmin Dragon - Zuko said Iroh had invited them, Iroh swore he had nothing to do with it - for a vacation before the reality of life after the war kicked in. They were heroes, that meant despite all the hard work they'd already put in, now they'd be expected to put more work in as authority figures.

Suki was still hovering over Sokka offering gentle, encouraging corrections to his work. Toph had settled back down in her seat with more tea and settled into discussion with Iroh, specifically catching up on what they'd both been through since their last chat.

Katara noticed Aang slip outside away from the noise as Toph's conversation got more exuberant and loud. He had really grown into his avatar role in the last couple of weeks. Since managing to defeat Ozai without killing him he had really found peace with his place in the world. Katara was proud of him for his strategy and equally worried what would happen if he was faced with a situation where he had no choice. He was still young, however, maybe with age and experience he wouldn't break if forced to make that choice.

Katara loved his optimism, his sense of duty, his selflessness, his courage and his creativity. She knew he loved her, as much as anyone their ages could love. She did love him, in a way, but she wasn't sure it was romantically.

Katara knew that she had a lot in common with Aang, they could stay up all night talking and easily losing track of time, they had fun and learnt from each other with their water bending. She hated the time they spent apart and felt like her heart would stop every time she saw him in danger.

But it wasn't thoughts of Aang that left her feeling all hot and bothered at inappropriate times. Katara tried not to let her eyes wander to where her thoughts had, but failed. Zuko looked so happy where he was talking with Mai. Part of Katara was happy for them, they'd been through enough to deserve happiness. But another part of her hated it. Ever since Zuko had offered to teach Aang fire bending - despite all her best efforts to continue to hate him - he had proven to be trustworthy, loyal, brave and a true friend to all of them. A year ago the thought of him as the Firelord would have scared her, now she thought it was the best shot their world had of peace.

Katara still argued with Zuko, they probably disagreed as often as they agreed, and he was constantly pessimistic. But he had gotten a handle on his anger, usually managing not to take it out on his friends, he had found strength without his anger, and he looked good. As part of their preparations they had done a lot of sparring in their gang, and she had watched many of his, at first admiring his technique, learning how fire benders attacked, how to counter. After a time she had stopped analysing and instead found herself fantasising, found herself struggling to stay focused when she sparred against him. It didn't help that he seemed to have an aversion to shirts when exercising.

To Katara, this infatuation was passion, she wanted to explore it, see if it could be love. But she wasn't going to even consider breaking up a happy couple for anything short of true love, and even then she wasn't sure she would. However, the bond she shared with Aang, that had room to grow, and with time might gain the passion she thought it was missing, the reason she had put off a relationship with him a chance. She hadn't been lying when she said she was confused, she had used the war as an excuse to not analyse her feelings for either Aang or Zuko, and refusing to do so had left her confused.

Aang made her feel loved, precious and safe. Zuko made her feel safe too, but in a _no matter how bad things get, I'll protect you_ way unlike Aang's _everything is going to be alright_ way. They both tried to keep her spirits up, Aang knew how to where as Zuko tried and often succeeded despite himself.

Casting one last furtive glance at Zuko and Mai, Katara took a breath and stood up to go join Aang. The choice is made easier when one of the men you might love is already taken. Katara decided to jump and see where a relationship with Aang would take her.

As she left she didn't see Zuko watching her or the look on his face. "She's going to be with Aang." Mai explained softly, as she noticed, but entirely misunderstood. Zuko turned and smiled at her, and pressed a kiss to her temple. Mai assumed he was worried that his friend was on their own, not used to the world not being at war, worried that a friend might not be okay, might need a friend.

Zuko did love Mai, he knew her cold exterior was a front, a safety mechanism. She cared, deeply, she had made dark days feel brighter. They understood each other, all the good and the bad. She had been a constant throughout his life, before he was banished, his redemption, his treason and now his reign. Before he had left the fire nation he hadn't met a woman who he could relate to apart from Mai, not one as strong or formidable. Then he had met Katara. Even when he wanted to capture Aang he had respected - however begrudgingly - his group. A good warrior respected his enemies strengths and exploited their weaknesses.

Katara had always stood out to him. She was strong, feisty, beautiful and kind. He had hated her for it, he had used his hate as a shield. He had put down his shield when he realised his uncle was right all those years, and since then he'd found another person who he felt understood his complications, someone he understood and trusted to watch his back. Someone he trusted to watch his heart.

Zuko had found himself wishing for something more than just being her friend. No matter how many times they'd both had to deny there was anything between them. Katara was the avatar's girl, Aang had tried to make that clear but Zuko knew that was Katara's choice. Though he wasn't going to apply any pressure to sway her decision, that was not his place or his way. Then there was Mai, he had hated breaking her heart to protect her from his treacherous actions. Breaking her heart for something that might not be more than physical attraction was unthinkable. He loved them both in different ways; Katara was his passion, but Mai was his rock.

As the door shut behind Katara, Zuko shut a door on his longings. Turning back to Mai he easily resumed their conversation.

No one had noticed Iroh's observational gaze. No one suspected his attention was anywhere other than the conversation he was having with Toph. He, however, had noticed everything. Those two kids had never stood a chance to explore what they could have been, but at least they had a chance for happiness without each other.

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Cinn: I've been sitting on this for a while now and finally decided to publish it. Still not convinced on Aang/Katara.


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